"Life only demands from you the strength you possess" -- Dag Hammarskjold

Alive & Well Archives

April 2003

****************************************************

TODAY'S QUOTE:  "The human spirit is stronger than anything that can happen to it"
                                                                -George C. Scott

****************************************************

TODAY'S TOPIC:  Coping Mechanisms

What do you do when you get stressed?  How do you cope when you’re afraid or anxious?

We all need coping mechanisms to help us deal with the obstacles, stressors and frustrations that come our way.  Many people deal with life’s hassles and stressors by becoming angry, shutting down or yelling.  In fact, today I saw a man flip off a woman in his car.  Not very empowering, huh?  Why not try empowering coping mechanisms instead? 

Let me give you an example.  A little while ago, I got an email that scared me.  Somehow, I mis-read the email, and it turned out to be nothing.  But when I first read it, I immediately felt my heart start to race, and my breathing became shallow.  My mind started to race as I conjured up horrible outcomes.  I tried to keep working, but I was so distracted I knew it was futile for me to work.  Essentially, I completely dis-empowered myself, and I was incapable of functioning.

I realized I needed to do something to release that negative energy and to re-empower myself.  So I went to the gym.  You see, exercise is one of my coping mechanisms.  I have a list of things I can do when I feel anxious, stressed, frightened or any other negative emotion.  Going to the gym tops the list.  Thankfully, as I worked my body, my anxiety decreased, and it all but disappeared.  When I returned to the office, I was calm and no longer afraid.  I then re-read the email and realized I had over-reacted.  But I had to take a break from the email before I could settle down and react properly to it.  I turned to one of my coping mechanisms.

Exercising is just one of the things on my coping mechanism list.  Sometimes, due to time constraints or location, I can’t exercise.  For example, if I’m about to go into a networking event and I feel nervous, I can’t exercise.  Instead, I take long, deep breaths.  I also say affirmations to myself over and over again, so I walk into the room feeling empowered, calm and confident.

Exercise, affirmations and deep breaths are a few things on my list.  I have a client who uses prayers to help her when she feels overwhelmed, afraid or stressed.   She can use prayer regardless of where she is.  Sometimes, she’ll excuse herself from the situation causing her stress, go pray and return feeling calmer and more confident.

How about you?  What are things you can do to cope with situations and people that cause you stress?  Let me give you a few ideas.

**  Exercise --- Some of you may think you can’t exercise, since you’re working.  Maybe you can’t go to the gym or exercise for a long period of time.  But you can walk outside and walk once around the building. Even doing this for just two minutes can make all the difference.  Next time something sets you off at work, walk around the building or walk the halls.  Give your body and brain a break from the stress. 

**  Take deep breaths --- Sometimes giving your brain that extra oxygen is enough to release the stress and function again.

**  Play with your pet --- Pets are very soothing, and sometimes playing with them can make you forget your worries and frustrations.  I will often take my dog for a car ride when I am stressed.  He loves to put his head out the window as we drive.  Seeing his pure joy makes me laugh every time, and laughing is enough to release the stress.

**  Say affirmations --- Next time you get stressed, say an affirmation to re-empower yourself.  Try saying, “I am calm, resourceful and at peace.”  Say it over and over until you feel it in your body.

**  Call someone who loves you --- When I get stressed or upset, I often call someone who loves and supports me.  Just hearing the support and love from my boyfriend, best friend or mom can cause me to settle down and stop worrying. 

**  Listen to music --- Another option when you get stressed is to listen to music.  It can be calming music or music that makes you dance, sing and smile.

**  Pray --- As I told you, prayer works great for one of my clients.

So how about it?  The next time you get stressed, angry or frustrated, are you willing to turn to a coping mechanism before the stress causes too much damage or negativity in your life?

*****************************************************

Coaching Challenge

*****************************************************

Make a list of coping mechanisms you can use when you’re upset, angry, frustrated or stressed.  Make sure to include things you can do in a moment and things you can do when you have more time.  Then be sure to use one of the coping mechanisms every time you get stressed.