"Think you can, think you can't; either way, you'll be right." -- Henry Ford

Alive & Well Archives

May 2001

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TODAY'S QUOTE:  What you focus on, you become.

                                                    -Tony Robbins

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TODAY'S TOPIC: The Power of Self-Talk

Have you ever paid attention to the questions you ask yourself or the thoughts running through your head? Our questions and thoughts largely determine what we become, what we achieve, and what we get. Unfortunately, we often have negative self-talk running through our heads, and we frequently aren’t even aware these thoughts and questions are there. Yet our thoughts and questions influence our success or failure.

Let me give you a recent example of how our thoughts determine our actions and the results we achieve. Last Monday night, I played a floor hockey game against the best team in the league. Usually we rotate players on the floor every few minutes, so we're all fresh and ready to run hard. For some reason, though, most of our team didn’t show up for the game, so we had no substitutes. Our normal goalie was late, and we questioned whether he would even be at the game. When I realized we wouldn’t have our regular goalie and we had to play without substitutes, negative thoughts started playing in my head. I started saying to myself, “We are going to get killed! I’m going to die out there. This is going to be painful!”

Boy, those negative thoughts sure weren't empowering. In fact, as I said them, I felt my body slump down, and I didn’t feel energetic. Instead, I felt afraid and intimidated, and I was already giving up. Fortunately, I caught myself saying these things, so I switched to positive, empowering thoughts. Over and over I said to myself, “I am CERTAIN I will stop the ball. I am CONFIDENT we will win!” As I said these things, I stood up straight, put my shoulders back and felt ready to play. If I felt tired during the game, I would say, “I am more energetic now than when I started.  I am certain!”

Guess what happened? I played my best floor hockey game ever! Although I played the entire game, I felt alive and unstoppable! In fact, one of my teammates said I was like a “wall,” because I was all over the floor, and not too many balls got past me.

I know if I had continued to keep saying the negative thoughts, I wouldn’t have played well. I probably would have given up easily, and I would have gotten tired. Instead, I changed my thinking and what I was saying. The result was a spectacular game!

This example shows the power of positive self-talk in a game setting. But empowering self-talk is important in all areas of our lives. What we say to ourselves, our internal dialogue, affects everything, including our finances, relationships and careers.

Let me give you another example. I have a client who must call prospective clients. She disliked making the calls, so we looked at what she said to herself when she made the calls.  We discovered that when she even thought about calling people, she started saying and thinking the people she was calling were busy; they didn't want to talk to her; she was bothering them.  Those thoughts aren’t very empowering, are they? You can see why making phone calls was a painful process for her. Her thoughts and self-talk made her dread the calls, which obviously affected her business and finances.

Rather than let our negative thoughts, beliefs and questions run us, we need to prime our heads for success. We need to replace those negatives with more empowering thoughts and questions. For example, if you say, “I can’t afford it,” your brain stops there and doesn’t attempt to find new ways to make money. If you ask, “How can I afford this,” your brain starts working on ways you can afford it. One way of thinking stops you in your tracks.  The other brings out creativity. One leaves you feeling down; the other empowers you. We must learn to change what we focus on and our self-talk.

What about you? What thoughts run through your head? Are they empowering or disempowering?

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Coaching Challenge

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For the next two weeks, pay attention to your self-talk. Occasionally stop and listen to what you say in your head. If your thoughts and questions are negative and disempowering, change them. For example, if you catch yourself saying, “I can’t do this,” switch to, “I CAN do this” or “How can I do this while enjoying myself?”