"Pain is inevitable.  Suffering is not" -- Anon

Alive & Well Archives

February 2004

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TODAY'S QUOTE:  “I am convinced that life is 10 percent what happens to me and 90 percent how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our attitudes.” 

                                                               - Charles R Swindoll

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TODAY'S TOPIC:  You Have a Choice

Did you know that how you feel right now is a choice?  If you feel happy right now, it’s a choice.  If you feel stressed or depressed, it’s a choice.  At any given moment, you choose how you will feel.  You can feel frustrated or excited, sad or happy.  

We are conditioned to believe that how we feel is dependent on some outside trigger or stimulus.  We believe it’s the events in our lives that affect our moods.  But the truth is, we affect how we feel.  We choose how to react to the events and stimuli in our lives.  That’s why two different people will feel very differently about the exact same event.   

Let me give you an example of how we choose our emotions.  Yesterday, I talked with a client who felt frustrated because her computer wasn’t working.  She was stressed, frustrated and upset that this piece of equipment would not work.  Essentially, she was triggered by the equipment’s failure.  She had allowed an outside stimulus to affect how she felt.  I pointed out to her that she was choosing how to feel, and she was allowing herself to become very disempowered and out of control.  When we discussed other options, she realized there were other ways to react.  In fact, by the end of the call, she was excited to go solve her problem.  She *chose* excitement and power over frustration and stress. 

You see, the problem was the same.  The equipment still did not work.  But she chose a new option; she chose to feel excited where she had previously felt frustrated and disempowered.  She put herself in control, and that made her excited to take on the problem. 

Problems are part of life.  We cannot avoid them.  But how we deal with them depends on us.  We can empower ourselves and remain calm, centered and even excited.  Or we can feel angry, frustrated and depressed.  It’s entirely up to you.   

Please note I am not suggesting this is always easy.  Yesterday, I had an event happen, and I allowed myself to become very upset.  Then I stopped and realized getting upset was doing nothing toward solving the problem.  I had to consciously ask myself what other feelings I could choose.  I ultimately chose to feel calm.  I put myself in a good state and starting looking at options to solve the problem.  When I put myself back in control, I felt calm and peaceful.  So yes, I know it’s not always easy to choose great feelings when situations happen.  But if we want to go through life feeling empowered, happy, excited, passionate and loving, we must choose those emotions.  We must choose to put ourselves back in control and feeling the way we want to feel.

How about you?  Are you ready to take control of your emotions?  Are you ready to *choose* emotions that will serve you rather than tear you down and make you feel disempowered?

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Coaching Challenge

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Next time you feel upset, disempowered, frustrated, angry or any other negative emotion, choose a different emotions.  Do something to make yourself laugh, call someone or take some deep breaths.  Then choose an emotion that serves you.