"Life moves pretty fast and if you don't stop and look around once in a while, you will miss it" -- Ferris Bueller

Alive & Well Archives

February 2003

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TODAY'S QUOTE:  "We not only need to be willing to give, but also to be open to receiving from others"
                                                                -On Hope

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TODAY'S TOPIC:  Receiving

Can you receive easily? 

We always hear about how important it is to give.  I believe giving – giving love, giving support, giving resources, giving time, etc -- is essential if you want to really have a joyous and fulfilling life.  But we often don’t talk about the importance of receiving.  We can’t just give; we have to receive too. 

Do you receive easily or is it a struggle for you?  Over the past couple of months, I have really become aware of my struggles to receive – to receive help, to receive support, to receive compliments and to receive love unconditionally.     

Let me give you an example.  When my sister died, my mom and I had two weeks to clean out her apartment.  My sister had a lot of stuff, so I was emotionally overwhelmed.  I dreaded having to do it.  Fortunately, a group of my sister’s friends and co-workers volunteered to box up all her things, dispose of things we didn’t want and clean her apartment for us.  I initially fought this, because I felt it wasn’t right for other people to pack up and dispose of my sister’s things.  I felt it was *my* responsibility; the family should do it. 

Fortunately, my mom had the opposite opinion.  She knew these people really wanted to help, and they felt it was a small thing they could do for my family.  In the end, I allowed the group to help. 

I can’t begin to tell you how grateful I am for this group.  I know it would have broken my heart to do it.  I originally struggled with receiving their help.  But in the end, I was willing to *receive, * and it saved me from becoming emotionally overwhelmed.

This example made me see how important it is to receive.  These people wanted to help.  They didn’t want anything in return for their help, and I was saved from pain by allowing them to help.  I didn’t pay them or do anything but thank them.  I was the receiver, and it made all the difference.

Now, I consciously make efforts to receive.  For example, a few weeks ago, I got a chair massage at the local store.  I paid and asked for a 15-minute massage.  The massage therapist gave me a 30-minute massage instead.  Upon realizing she had given me extra time, I wanted to get more money.  Then I remembered the importance of receiving.  This woman wanted to give me more time.  She knew how much time had gone by, and she knew how much I paid.  She wanted to give me the extra time.  So although it was a struggle for me, I graciously accepted the extra time without paying for it.  I honestly felt special and cared for the rest of the day (not to mention how good it felt to get a 30-minute massage!).

The other day, someone gave me a compliment and attempted to shower me with unconditional love.  I felt myself squirm and try to minimize the compliment and love.  But once again, I remembered the importance of *receiving. *  So I accepted the compliment and took in the love.  I felt so great and special afterwards.  I allowed myself to receive, and it made my day.

How about you?  Can you receive easily or is it a struggle?  Pay attention to your reaction the next time someone gives you a compliment.  Pay attention to your reaction if someone offers to help you when you don’t ask for help.    These clues will alert you to your willingness to receive.

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Coaching Challenge

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Pay attention to your comfort level with receiving.  If you find yourself uncomfortable, practice receiving.  Make an effort to accept people’s help and compliments.  If someone compliments you, say to yourself, “I accept your compliment and know it is true.”  Make an effort to take in unconditional love without offering anything back in return.