"Pain is inevitable.  Suffering is not" -- Anon

Alive & Well Archives

May 2005

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TODAY'S QUOTE:  “My friend, if I could give you one thing, I would wish for you the ability to see yourself as others see you. Then you would realize what a truly special person you are."
                                                               - B.A. Billingsly

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TODAY'S TOPIC:  Don’t Worry About Others          

Do you ever worry what other people will think of you and/or your actions?  Have you ever let other people’s opinions stop you?

Last weekend, I took a vacation to Orlando and came face to face with how easy it is to let what other people think stop me from honoring myself and from doing what I want.  While in Orlando, I went to a Disney water park.  As a little girl, I loved going to the water park but I never went on the steep water rides.  However, at this Disney water park, I got in line for a steep ride that went straight down and dropped you in a deep pool.

As I waited in line, I knew I did not want to go on the ride.  But when I considered getting out of line, I worried what other people would think.  What would my boyfriend, who was also in line, think if I didn’t go?  What would all the people in line think of me?  Would they think I was a baby?  Would they laugh at me?  What would my friends think if they knew I chickened out of the ride? 

Ultimately, I chose to get out of line and go to a different ride.  I had to walk back down the stairs and pass everyone in line.  I felt everyone watch me as I left the line.  But I was so happy I got out of line.  I was very glad I decided to honor myself and not force myself to go on the ride.  I honored my own happiness even though I knew others might laugh at me.  But what I realized was that my happiness is much more important than what people think of me. 

The water park was just one opportunity for me to remember that my happiness is more important than what other people think.  The next day, I was given another opportunity.  You see, I love to polka dance, and I went to a German restaurant that played polka music. 

A couple of years ago, my boyfriend and I took polka lessons, but we’ve only danced a couple of times outside of class.  In fact, we had not danced since last July.  When I heard the polka music at this restaurant, I desperately wanted to dance.  But then I worried what other people would think. 

I worried that we had not danced in almost a year and wouldn’t know what to do.  I worried that we would be the only people on the dance floor, and everyone would stare at us.  I worried that we were wearing tennis shoes and would not be able to move freely.  In truth, I worried what others would think of us.

Finally I decided to dance.  As I walked on the floor, I felt myself worrying about others’ opinions. But ultimately, I decided my happiness was much more important.  You see, once we started dancing, I had a massive smile on my face.  I felt so incredibly happy, and I had so much fun! 

I had almost missed that fun because I worried what other people *might* think of me.  However, while I danced and honored my heart, it didn’t matter what other people thought of me.  What mattered was that I was doing what I wanted and having a fantastic time!

You know what’s ironic?  I was worried people would think we looked bad.  But as we walked off the dance floor, a man said, “You two have obviously done this before and know what you’re doing.”  I was worried we would be criticized, but instead we were complimented!  I almost lost my opportunity to polka dance and have fun, and I had been wrong about what people would think!

How many times have you stopped yourself from doing what you want or from having fun, because you worried what others would think about you?  My examples are small examples.  But it happens all the time, doesn’t it?  Maybe you’ve not had fun because of others.  Perhaps you’ve wanted to change jobs but haven’t, because other people may view you differently.  Maybe you’ve stayed married because of other people’s opinions.

How about it?  Have you let other people’s opinions stop you?  Are you stuck because you imagine other people will criticize you?  If so, honor yourself and your own happiness.  Start by considering what you will gain by honoring yourself and doing what you want?  If you do not honor yourself and your heart, what will happen?  On the other hand, what will happen when you do honor yourself?

Go ahead…. Honor yourself and don’t worry what other people think!

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Coaching Challenge

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Honor yourself and do what you want even if others may criticize or laugh at you!