"Nothing can bring you peace but yourself." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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"Nothing can bring you peace but yourself." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson |
         
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Alive & Well ArchivesApril 2002**************************************************** TODAY'S QUOTE: “How different our lives are when we really know what is deeply important to us, and keeping that picture in mind, we manage ourselves each day to be and to do what really matters most." -Stephen Covey **************************************************** TODAY'S TOPIC: Take Time For Yourself Do you ever find yourself running around trying to get too much done? Are you over-committed? How often do you take time for yourself to just *be* and relax? It seems to me that being busy has become the only acceptable norm in our culture. In general, we’re all running around always “doing, doing, doing.” It’s socially acceptable to be a workaholic and to be very busy. But for the most part, it’s not acceptable to just *be* and to relax for any length of time. I had a startling discovery related to this not too long ago. I volunteer at a federal prison where I assist with a class to coach inmates and teach them coaching skills. To learn the skills, these inmates attend coaching class every week. In addition to coaching classes, the inmates also have other activities they can participate in, including sports, Toastmasters and other classes. They also work eight hours a day. Essentially, there are enough activities for inmates to easily fill their days. Last week when I was at the prison, one of the inmates told me he was too busy to consistently attend coaching class. I had assumed all they had in prison was *time.* But he told me this is quite common in the prison; the inmates are very busy and generally over-committed. Because they sign up for so many things, they are running around “doing, doing, doing.” When the man told me this, I thought, “Wow! Even in federal prison, people are running around doing, doing, doing." Even in a place where they can’t go anywhere for a very long time (one of my students is serving 34 years), they are over-committed and somewhat stressed trying to fit everything in their schedules! Yes, even in federal prison it’s become the norm to be over-committed and busy. How about you? Do you over-commit? When was the last time you let yourself just *be* and relax? You know, we are human *beings* and not human *doings.* To have a healthy, fulfilling life, it’s critical to take time for yourself. Yes, there are many things pulling at you. Yes, your “to do” list is a mile long and getting longer. Yes, you may have been taught to put other people’s needs before your own. Yes, you may be saying, ”Are you kidding? I don’t have time to take care of myself.” But here’s one thing I know for sure…your inbox will never be empty. Your “to do” list will never be blank, and if it is, it will quickly fill up again. Things will always come up if you let them come before your own self-care. Always! My friends, please remember that when you take time for yourself and take time to just *be*, you have more energy and focus for the other things in your life. Also, when you take time for yourself, you are more relaxed, and it’s easier to handle the situations that pop up in life. So how can you free up time so you can take care of yourself? Here are just a few examples: * Eliminate an activity, such as a class, volunteer commitment, an extra project at work or anything else taking up extra time. * Let go of a client or project that drains your energy and makes it difficult for you to have extra energy for yourself. * Hire an assistant to help with your work. * Hire a personal concierge to run your errands. * Stop watching television at night. I frequently hear people say they don’t have time for themselves. But they somehow have hours to spend watching television. * Similar to the television, don’t surf the Internet at night. I’ve had clients free up time by simply focusing and limiting the time they spend on email and on the Internet. * Ask for help. We tend to have a lone ranger mentality that says don’t ask for help. But if you ask for help, you can accomplish things more quickly, thereby freeing up more time for yourself. You will start taking care of yourself just by doing some of the things listed. Just freeing up time is a huge step in good self-care. Sometimes, however, the tendency is to fill up these now vacant times. So let me give you some suggestions for things you can do to bring more relaxation and peace into your life: * Meditate. I meditate virtually every morning for 20-30 minutes. Meditation makes me more centered and at peace. It allows my mind, body and spirit to just relax. Quieting down in meditation also allows my inner wisdom to emerge. You don’t need to meditate for a long time. Just start with 10 minutes a day, and work your way up to more if you want. * Take a bath. When is the last time you took a hot bath? A bath allows your mind, body and soul to relax. * Journal. Sit in silence and journal. Journaling is a great way to get to know yourself. Why do you tick the way you do? What do you really want in life? Journaling gives you the freedom to find the answers! * Engage in deep breathing. Most of us take shallow breaths all day long. To quickly relax, take deep, long breaths. Inhale through your nose for 3 seconds. Hold it for 12 seconds and exhale through your mouth for 6 seconds. Try this 10 times in a row. I promise you you’ll feel more relaxed. This is a good technique for stoplights too (it will almost make you want the red light to be longer!). * Arrive early to appointments. When you’re early to an appointment, you can sit in your car or in the waiting area, close your eyes and meditate or do deep breathing. Sitting in silence and breathing is an especially good technique if you’re at the doctor’s office, and you must wait. * Get a massage. * Take a walk or some kind of break. If you feel stressed or stuck at work, take a 5-minute break, go outside and walk around the building. This is a great way to free up your mind and bring some peace during an otherwise stressful time. So how about it? Are you willing to take time for yourself? Are you willing to make yourself a priority? ***************************************************** Coaching Challenge ***************************************************** This week, do at least one thing to take care of yourself. You can get a massage, hire a coach, ask for help, meditate, journal, take a long walk, read a book, eliminate a class, etc. Make a plan for how you will continue to take time for yourself on an on-going basis.
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