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Alive
& Well Archives
July 2002
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TODAY'S
QUOTE: "You will never 'find' time for anything. If you
want time you must make it"
-Charles Buxton
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TODAY'S TOPIC: Priorities
Are your actions and behaviors in line with your priorities? If
something is a priority for you, do you give it your energy, focus and time?
When you think about your priorities, do you feel fulfilled and satisfied?
I was inspired to write this newsletter the other morning. My alarm went
off, and I thought, "Kim, it's time to get up and go work." But
my 22-year old cat, Angel, was sleeping on my arm cuddling with me. I
didn't want to move.
What's that have to do with priorities? Well, my cat is very sick, and she
probably doesn't have much time to live. She has, therefore, become a huge
priority for me. So when my alarm went off, my head was saying, "Get
up and go work." My heart was saying, "Work will always be
there. Angel won't." I, therefore, stayed in bed a little
longer and cuddled with her. I felt no guilt about not getting to work
sooner. After all, my actions were in line with my priorities.
That morning made me think about priorities. My cat is my priority right
now, so I'm devoting a lot of time, energy and focus to her. My cat may
seem like a very simple example to you. But how often does it take an
emergency or serious problem to get us focused on our priorities?
Are you focused on your true priorities? If you aren't focused on your
priorities, you may feel stressed, unfulfilled and unhappy. You may feel
guilt, shame and just overall discontentment.
Let me give you an example of a person not following her
priorities. I coached a woman, Darcy, who was constantly stressed.
She had an immaculate house; she spent a large amount of time organizing things
and running errands. This woman was literally running around constantly,
and she rarely, if ever, felt truly relaxed.
I asked Darcy to determine her priorities. Having an immaculate, organized
house was important to her. But her number one priority was her husband
and family. I found this very interesting, because she devoted most of her
time, energy and focus to her house and errands. When she was with her
family and husband, her mind was frequently elsewhere (ie. what else did she
need to do, what didn't she get done, etc.). She wasn't always present to
the current conversation. She rarely, if ever, just spent time idly
sitting with her husband or family. Instead, she was usually on the go.
You can imagine how much stress this caused and how unfulfilled she felt.
Her number one priority was her husband, yet her energy wasn't directed at him.
By identifying her top priority, she now knows what she needs to do to feel more
satisfied and fulfilled.
This is a very common situation. We say our families are a priority, yet
we work so late and hard that we don't see them. We say our health is a
priority, but we can't find the time to exercise or eat proper meals.
How about you? Do you devote time, energy and focus to your highest
priorities? Do you even know what your priorities are?
If not, let's figure out your top priorities. Take out a piece of paper
and rip it into 5 pieces. Write down a priority on each piece of paper.
These are your top priorities. Now, if I said you don't have enough time
for all of them and you need to take one away, which would you take away?
Now you're left with your top four priorities. If I said you still don't
have enough time and you must take one more away, which would you take away?
Now, do it two more times until you have your top priority.
Now you know your top priority. Are you fulfilled and satisfied in that
area? If so, congratulations. If not, what do you need to do to get
more satisfaction in that area?
We all have different priorities. For some, the priorities may be family,
faith or health. For some, they may be finances and career.
It doesn't matter what they are. What's important is if you're satisfied
in those areas and if you 're devoting enough energy and focus toward them.
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Coaching Challenge
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Determine your top priorities and
especially your #1 priority. Next, determine what you need to do to feel
fulfilled and satisfied in those areas.
I often tell my clients to post their priorities where they can easily see them
(ie. on a bathroom mirror, computer, car dashboard). This
makes it easier to remember your priorities and, therefore, filter your
decisions around them.
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