"The surest way not to fail is to determine to succeed" -- Sheridan

Alive & Well Archives

November 2003

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TODAY'S QUOTE:  “Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.” 

                                                              - Henry David Thoreau

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TODAY'S TOPIC:  Don't Assume

Have you ever made up assumptions or stories in your mind that have stopped you or nearly stopped you from achieving your dreams and reaching your goals?   

Let me give you an example.  I recently got involved in real estate investing and auctions.  I had wanted to get involved for a while, but I hadn’t taken the first step.  This was a big goal of mine, so it became very important to discover what was stopping me.  I realized I had made some pretty disempowering assumptions about the auctions and about the people involved in these auctions.  I imagined everyone at the auction would be very knowledgeable.  When I imagined myself at the auction, I pictured myself surrounded by power hungry, older men in blue suits who were mean and only out for themselves.  I imagined myself surrounded by people who would be experts at this, and I thought I’d be eaten alive!

It’s no surprise I hadn’t moved forward in my desire to get involved.  I *assumed* I wouldn’t fit in with the crowds at these auctions, and I *assumed* I would get eaten alive!  But guess what?  These were just stories I made up; they were bad *assumptions,* and they were not accurate!   

Fortunately, I realized these images were just faulty assumptions, and I did not let them stop me from realizing my goals!  I took the first step and attended a real estate auction.  When I arrived at the auction, I discovered the truth!  I did not see a single person in a blue business suit.  Most were older men and women who were dressed in jeans and a flannel shirt.  Everyone I met was very nice and helpful.  I discovered I even knew more than some people there!  I even won my first auction effortlessly and easily!

Do you see how I could have let my assumptions and stories stop me from achieving a goal?  My imagination went wild and came up with all sorts of reasons why I couldn’t go to the auctions.  Thankfully, I did not let these reasons and assumptions stop me from realizing my goals.  I also learned the assumptions I had made were totally inaccurate!  Of course, I was prepared to go even if my assumptions were accurate, but they were inaccurate!

Let me give you another example.  A good friend of mine just learned to scuba dive, so she could go diving with her boyfriend in Mexico.  Like me, she made up stories and assumptions in her mind.  Her first assumption was that everyone in her scuba class would be thin and look great in a wet suit.  She worried she wouldn’t look as good as everyone else, and she worried she was too overweight to scuba dive.  Fortunately, she didn’t let her *assumption* stop her. 

When she arrived at her scuba class, she discovered many people in similar shape, including the instructor!  She also made the assumption that her doctor would never give her a release form, because she has asthma.  But guess what?  Her assumption was inaccurate!  Asthma didn’t stop her!

She returned from Mexico a few days ago.  I asked how scuba diving was, and she said, “Oh my God!  It was AMAZING.  I had an awesome experience.”  What if she had listened to the stories and *assumptions* she made up in her head? She would have missed the opportunity.  Thankfully, she didn’t let the assumptions stop her, and she realized each assumption she made up was not true.  Now, she has experiences from Mexico that she will always remember and cherish!

How about you?  What stories are you making up about your goals?  What assumptions have you made that are stopping you from getting what you want?     

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Coaching Challenge

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Think of a dream or goal you have not yet realized.  What assumptions have you made about why you can’t achieve that goal?  What stories have you told yourself to keep you stuck?  Recognize the assumptions and stories and push through them.  Besides, you’ll probably discover your assumptions were wrong anyway!