"Success comes in cans, failures in can'ts" -- Unknown

Alive & Well Archives

October 2002

****************************************************

TODAY'S QUOTE:  "I think I can.  I think I can."
                                                                -Watty Piper

****************************************************

TODAY'S TOPIC:  Direct Your Language

Do you empower or disempower yourself with the language you use, especially the words you say to yourself?

I’ve talked about language in past newsletters, because language is very powerful, and it’s one of the biggest determinants of your success or failure.  Let me give you a very simple example.  My nephew, Jason, has a personal fitness trainer.  One day, I watched Jason while he lifted weights with his trainer.  Jason was lifting some heavy weights, and he was clearly struggling.  He kept saying, “I can’t do this.”  He was telling his trainer he couldn’t do it, but he was also telling himself.  Guess what?  No surprise – he couldn’t lift the weights. 

On the way home, I proposed to him that he couldn’t lift the weights, because he kept telling himself he couldn’t lift the weights.  I suggested he say, “I can do it,” the next time he met with his trainer.  Guess what happened?  Yep, he could lift the weights!  Did the trainer lighten the load?  No.  Did my nephew become physically stronger in the meantime?  No.  But he did become *mentally* stronger.  All it took was a very slight change in his wording.  He went from “I can’t do it” to “I can do it.”  That small little change made all the difference.

We behave the way we tell ourselves to behave.  If we continually tell ourselves we can’t do something, our brain and behavior will line up with those words and make it where we can’t.  However, if we use language that empowers us, such as “I can do it,” our brains figure out how to make it happen. 

Let me give you another example.  I talked with a colleague today.  She told me how she over-uses the word “struggle.”  She says she is “struggling with this, struggling with that, etc.”  Again, her brain will not contradict her.  She continually says things are a struggle, so they are.  She realized this and now leaves “struggle” out of her vocabulary.  Guess what?  Things haven’t been such a struggle for her.  All she did was eliminate one word, and her life feels easier.

As explained above, language can disempower you very easily and quickly.  It can also empower you.  If you say, “I can do it,” you can.  If you continually say, “I’m fabulous,” you’ll be fabulous!  Your brain won’t contradict what you say, so you’ll focus on what’s fabulous in your life and focus on ways to feel fabulous.  Therefore, if you continually say, “I’m fabulous,” you will be!

You see, my friends, your language affects your behavior and emotions and ultimately the quality of your life.  If you want an outstanding quality of life, you must learn to direct your language, so it works for you rather than against you.  Fortunately, we can direct our language.  It’s just as easy to say, “I’m fabulous” as “I’m ok.”  It’s just as easy to say, “I can” as “I can’t.” 

*****************************************************

Coaching Challenge

*****************************************************

Over the next month, pay attention to your language.  Notice when you say disempowering words, and change them to empowering language.  Ask friends and family to pay attention to your language.  They may notice disempowering language that you don’t hear or realize.  Also, pay attention to other people’s language and observe how their behavior, actions and life follow the language they use.