"Nothing befalls a man except what is in his nature to endure." -- Marcus Aurelius

Alive & Well Archives

November 2001

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TODAY'S QUOTE:  “A bend in the road is not the end of the road unless you fail to make the turn.”

                                                -Unknown

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TODAY'S TOPIC:  Celebrate Life's Challenges

I love that quote – “A bend in the road is not the end of the road unless you fail to make the turn.”

Have you ever noticed that life is not a straight line? So often, we plan our lives and expect to get from point A to point B if we just follow our plan. For example, many people have been taught to go to college, get a good job, get married and then start a family. But no matter how hard we plan, life throws bends in the road, and we are forced to alter our paths.

I believe these bends in the road always benefit us and cause us to grow personally, mentally and emotionally. Sometimes we need these bends so we have challenges to push us and make us grow. Sometimes we need these bends so we will change direction and go down the right life path.

Let me give you a personal example that happened to me at a very young age.  When I was in 6th grade, I was in the *popular* crowd, and I was enjoying life. I planned on going to the *cool* junior high and high school. Then one day, everything changed. I showed up for school, and for no reason, my friends hated me. They proceeded to try and turn the whole school against me, and they made my life horrible. It got so bad that I changed schools at the end of the year. I ended up in a wonderful school where I received an excellent education. At my new school, I also met my best friend, a woman who has been there for me through the good times and the bad. I would never have met this woman if I hadn’t gone to my new school. I also probably wouldn’t have gotten such a great education at the *cool* school.

The experience was devastating at the time, and I would never wish to go through it again. But I’m so deeply thankful for it, because my life ultimately changed for the better when my friends turned against me. This was a bend/challenge in the road that caused me to make a turn and go down the right life path for me.

Let me give you another example. I have a friend who was in a car accident about 18 years ago. She was seriously injured and couldn’t walk or work for awhile. Was this a bend in the road? Absolutely! She ended up in physical therapy to get her legs strong enough to walk again. While in physical therapy, she met her current husband. They’ve been happily married for 15 years, and they have three wonderful children. If my friend hadn’t gotten in her car accident, she wouldn’t have met her husband. You see, she was thrown a serious *bend* in the road, but she made the turn and her life is better because of it. Her bend pushed her to go down the right path and meet her husband.

Let me give you another example of a bend in the road that ultimately led to greatness. I know a woman who got laid-off from her job last year. Talk about a bend in the road! This woman had always enjoyed painting for fun, but she hadn’t done it in awhile. After being laid-off and unable to find another job, she began to paint seriously. Before her lay-off, she had never sold a painting. Now she is being commissioned to paint portraits for people. In fact, she now has a backlog, and she’s never been happier. This woman has found her passion, and she loves what she’s doing. Yet, she probably wouldn’t have started to paint if she hadn’t been laid-off. Life put a bend in the road, and she made the turn. Her life is now better because of it.

If you want to have an outstanding quality of life, you must learn to accept the “bends” given to you, and you must make the turn. Count on one thing my friends -- life will not be a straight line for you. You will be given challenges and bends in the road. If you want a great life, you cannot wallow in self-pity when these bends come. You cannot let the bends throw you so far off that you can’t make the turn. You have a choice on how you view the bends. You can feel sorry for yourself and become a “victim,” or you can recognize that you grow the most when you move through life’s bends and challenges. If you want a truly great life, you will recognize the bends and be grateful, because you know greatness lies on the other side of them. You will know your “bends” are there for you to grow and/or move down a different path than you’re currently taking. Yes, my friends, there is always a positive in every situation. There is good that comes out of every bend. The challenge is to find the positive and stay focused on it. 

For many people, September 11 was a substantial bend in the road. No one could have planned for it, and it has thrown off many people. The challenge now is to grow -- personally, as a nation and as a world. If we make the turn, I believe we can slowly but surely become stronger and make the world a better place.

What about you? How do you handle the bends in the road? 

Have a happy Thanksgiving! :)

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Coaching Challenge

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Reflect on past “bends” in the road. When has life thrown you curves that at the time seemed hard or devastating? What did you learn from them? How is your life greater because of them?  Did you take a different and better path? This month, if you are thrown a “bend,” take a moment to reflect on why this could be great. What are new opportunities for you because of the bend?

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I also challenge you to make a list of everything you are grateful for, including your “bends” in the road. The list should also include your family, friends, health, material possessions, pets and personal characteristics/qualities. The key to ultimate fulfillment and happiness is gratitude. So start today and write a list of everything you’re grateful for.